You move across the country to a new city. You’re fortunate enough to have friends that store your shit and house you up while you search for a new place to call home. One month later you find a new home–the perfect home–apply for it, and beat the odds and the STEEP, though sweet looking, competition (rampant twentysomething couples) to claim it as your own. After a year long hiatus from the corporate working world, you and your significant other strike gold and both become gainfully employed again. Life.is.good. The universe provides. So why are you all sad squad and lonely? BECAUSE YOU NEED FRIENDS!!! Well, just a few really in addition to the bff/love for all time that you’ve made a home with.
Life really ain’t THAT bad, but trying to make new friends in a new city certainly can be. Especially when your living room serves as your office for one. Looking for friends? Here’s what you can expect to find.
A recent google search, “meet friends in portland” turned up the following results:
CRAIGSLIST “strictly platonic”- peruse at your own risk or just, no.
“Meetups are neighbors getting together to learn something, do something, share something…” My understanding: there are a bunch of groups, find a group to fit your needs, join said group, make friends. Here are some group names that caught my attention:
- 20 and 30 somethings in Portland- AWESOME stuff
- 4FUN, Fabulous & Flourishing For the next Fifty
- SexPositive Portland
- Young Portland Women Meeting for Friendship
- PDX Tech Meetup
- PDX Wine and Adventure Enthusiasts
- Portland Speed Dating for Singles
- NoPo Run Club
Each group accepts members based on their own rules and hosts events for the members on the reg to, you guessed it- “meet up.” Seeing as I’m not looking to date, run, down with the tech scene or a self declared “adventure enthusiast” I’m thinking this isn’t the path for me. There’s also a healthy fear of rejection and commitment. What are the rules? Will they accept me? One group said I needed to show up at least once a month. I can’t commit to that! Can I? It also brings to mind that first cafeteria scene in Mean Girls. Too many tables, too many groups and no co-mingling.
THIS ARTICLE: TOP TEN WAYS TO MEET PEOPLE IN PORTLAND
- Bergurende Ski Club– I’ve never skied a damn day in my life. NOPE.
- Events & Adventures: a singles group for active people…. Negative, Bro.
- Portland Skyliners: a social club for tall people. In order to join, Men must be at least 6’2” and women at least 5’10” without shoes. MY PEOPLE! I’m getting accepted into this group no problem. But, no.
- 8 Minute Dating– PASS for obvious reasons.
- Columbia River Orienteering– huh?
- Willamette Sailing Club- Aside from the clear learning curve I’ve been watching a lot of JAWS 2 lately, so no.
- Portland Meetup– see above.
- Mazamas– “Basic climbing” and “Avalanche Awareness” are concerns.
- Oregon Trails Club: Hiking, biking, kayaking. I like to hike and bike but this feels out of my league.
- Walking and Running Clubs– running is painful enough alone and therefore does not last long. This would not be a sustainable option.
VOLUNTEERING- this one I figured out all on my own!
What’s that you say? Do good, help others, and meet people along the way? Yeah, I’ve had a little luck with volunteering. I made friends with about 5 women my parent’s age–not a complaint–just a fact. I got real friendly with one lady who’s name now escapes me… We bonded over our distaste for the traffic congestion and insane heat in the DC metro area and how charming we found Portland. We didn’t exchange digits but I did meet her husband…nice guy. I also found out about more volunteering opps so not a bad day all around but not necessarily a “win” in the friend game.
For now instead, I’m sticking to meeting people the “organic” way. For those of you wondering, this entails extended conversations with cashiers at the grocery stores, vintage shops, servers at our new hangs etc. Basically any one who HAS to be nice to me and smile and seem interested. Each encounter I push it just a little bit further… remembering names… stories told… WATCH OUT PORTLAND- I’m coming for ya. And we’ll be friends in no time.
Signed with <3,
MBW
Evidence of friends from cities past: My RAD friend, Annie.
"It's all happening." 
Dear Jani,
I love your writing—it’s so YOU!—and enjoyed the whole new post. I’m sure you and Jack will make friends in your new locale in fairly short order. In the meantime, it’s soooooooo good that you a) found jobs (sometimes a good place to find new friends, not always) and b) LIKE each other!!!
Love you very much and ALWAYS happy to hear from/about you,
Rose
P.S. Does it get cold enough out there to warrant winter scarves? If so, what color would you and Jack like for next winter? I found knitting to be fun this past winter and made a red one for K-K and my nephews. Would you guys like one, too?
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